This is my E-asttle Writing Test for the term. It is a narrative story. I like this story because it is based on my favorite thing scary things. Here is my story:
Isaac, Zach, Kerby the dog and I are going to a abandoned and haunted house in the middle of nowhere. We finally drive up to the house on Witchberry Road in the desert
We jump out of the car and knock on the door to see if anyone was there but no there were no humans insight Isaac kicks open on the door and find that there is a sand covered staircase with gaping holes in it “wow to looks so unsafe” Zach said it sure does I say owell we will have a look about down stairs first.
As we creep into the kitchen as quietly as a cat coming down a staircase in the middle of the night. The windows were smashed and there was no lights at all except for Zach’s phone that has a flashlight on it. So we keep creeping around the building insight of treasure Isaac says “this is too boring i’m going up the staircase” Zach agreed he should climb up it.
Isaac are you ready he said yes ok then take the flashlight with you ok i’m going up uhhh wow watch out for that hole he finally got to the top and guess what.
The flashlight dies and he screams at the top of his lungs what was that! Zach asks are you alright and isaac says no I heard a whisper and i don’t know what it was he said I think i'll come down now watch out for those holes he races down and we all hear aaahhhhh thud! I say ISAAC ARE YOU ALRIGHT! No response Zach says to me let’s get out of here I agree Me and Zach sprint out and hurry to the car I say jump in the car now!
We drive away quickly and forget about Isaac. R.I.P Isaac 2017.
Hi Tim my name is Dion and I'm from St.Bernadette's primary school. I really liked how you added lots of detail and how you hooked me in with your writing. You also made a picture in my head about your writing about a haunted house and I liked how you used descriptive words. Maybe next time you could check your work and check for capital letters. You made me laugh when you said R.I.P Isaac 2017. I'm looking forward to seeing your next blog post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting.
DeleteHi Tim I am Gustan and I'm from St.Bernadette's school,
ReplyDeleteI liked how it was an interesting story, especially how you described going down the staircase. But next time you could try and put a bit more punctuation were it needs.
I am looking ford to your next post